Weekend Update | Vol. 21

LIFE... It's pretty fitting that it's rained nearly every day in May because this month has been a doozy. At this point, if a piano fell on our house I'd be like, "Yeah. That seems about right." One more week, guys. We can do this. Clear eyes, full hearts...

ALLIE... Rosé + Salt & Straw + the Buddhify app = Allie's May survival kit

JARED... Got to watch an action movie for the first time in ages when I agreed to watch Deadpool, which almost made up for me dragging him to Tysons mall with me on a rainy Saturday.

EMMA... New library books on Friday, followed by quality time and yummy food at her Nana's on Saturday made our Emma a very happy girl.

JONAH... Got the worst haircut of his little life on Saturday. It was so bad that 45 minutes in I decided we needed to cut our losses and leave before the guy cut off so much that it couldn't be fixed. Thankfully, the awesome ladies at the place we usually take him to were able to get him fixed up in no time. And Jonah was pretty stoked to get not one but TWO lollipops in the span of an hour. 

FAVORITE IMAGE...

OVERHEARD...

Emma: Jonah, pretend to be Francois.
Jonah: ROAR!

Jared's thoughts on Paw Patrol: What's wrong with you as an adult if you're constantly asking a 10 year old boy and his dogs for help. It's at the point where I'm rooting for Mayor Humdinger to ruin the day. And what's this kid's backstory? Why does he live with his grandfather? Looks like the pups couldn't save everybody.

Emma: But wait! Pink Rosa (her stuffed dolphin) hasn't had her breakfast yet!!
Jared: Well hurry up. Your pancakes are going to get cold.
Emma: Ugghhh! I feel like you don't even care about Pink Rosa!
Jared: ... 

Weekend Update | Vol. 20

LIFE... Jared and I got a non grandparent date night! It was the first in over a year so it was a pretty big deal. The kids did great with their babysitter while we enjoyed an evening of record shopping, dinner at Hooch & Banter, and a late night stroll along Carroll Creek. Perfection.

ALLIE... Decided to cut bangs after swearing I'd never cut bangs again, all because the wrinkle on my forehead was starting to give me a complex. So now instead of fixating on how my wrinkle looks I'm fixating on how my bangs look. Brilliant plan.

JARED... Very upset that The Grinder got cancelled, but very pleased that the first of our two raised beds is fully planted AND that he finally got to use the compost he's been building up for the past year and a half. 

EMMA... Picked up one of Jonah's books and read it cover to cover on Sunday. A book that she'd never read before and never heard us read before. A book with 3 syllable words. To watch this kid who has been in love with books since infancy reading independently before she even starts Kindergarten is pretty darn cool. Thanks, Montessori!

JONAH... I will be shocked if this kid doesn't grow up to be a musician. He's been obsessed with drumming since he was a baby and now he loves putting on shows for us and playing Jared's guitar. Let's just hope he's not tone deaf like his mama.

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OVERHEARD...

Allie: Shouting "excuse me" while I'm talking is still interrupting.
Emma: But you keep saying things over and over and over and I never get to talk!
Allie: (suppressing laughter) Well if you'd listen the first time I wouldn't have to say things over and over and over.
Emma: But I don't want to listen the first time!

Jared: If you ever needed proof that I will do anything for you, it's that I took a brush and scrubbed dirt off the outside of a box that holds dirt. That's how much I love you.

Jonah: Can we do yoga tonight?
Allie: No, we're not doing yoga tonight. We're doing quickest path to mama getting a glass of wine tonight.

Jared: Oh yeah, this is like a suuuuper girly drink.
Allie: But is it good?
Jared: Yes. Yes it is.

Weekend Update | Vol. 19

LIFE... After one of the hardest weeks of our lives, we tried our best to keep busy this weekend with lots of yard work, good food, and streaming comedy specials. Because when all else fails, Louis C.K. always makes it better.

ALLIE... Got 5 pints of Salt & Straw for Mother's Day. What more could a girl ask for?

JARED... Finally got to start on the garden boxes he's been wanting to build ever since we left Portland. 

EMMA... Only a month and a half left of age 4, guys. So close. Soooo close. Age 5 is when the listening ears finally get turned on and she's her amazing sweet self the vast majority of the time, right? Just let me dream for a little while longer. ;)

JONAH... Took both naps in his OWN bed this weekend. It's a miracle!

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OVERHEARD...

Jared: C'mon Emma. It's Mother's Day.
Emma: Yeah, but it's also Children's Day.
Jared: No. Children's Day is EVERY other day of the year. Today is just for mama.
Emma: I wish it was my birthday.

Allie: What does mama do better than daddy?
Jonah: CLEAN!

Jared: You're supposed to feel better after working out, but I'm just filled with regret for not laying in bed for another 20 minutes.

Weekend Update | Vol. 18

LIFE... Well, it was a pretty good weekend before it turned into a pretty darn awful weekend. We spent most of Saturday at the Charm City Folk & Bluegrass Festival, which was fantastic. Great bands, great setup, and the rain held off. Then Sunday came, and with it the unexpected and heartbreaking decision to put down our beloved Rocco. Despite our shock, we tried our best to give him a great final day on Monday. Jared and I took off of work, and after the kids said goodbye to him, we hung out just the 3 of us - like it was in the beginning. We gave him eggs for breakfast, took him on a really long walk, played fetch, and loved on him something fierce. He died in our arms as we told him how much we loved him. Needless to say, Jared and I aren't doing so well but we're trying our best to focus on the good times we had with our crazy pup over the past 9+ years. As much as this hurts, we know we are infinitely better for having had the honor of loving our sweet Rocco.

ALLIE... Heartbroken.

JARED... Heartbroken. 

EMMA... The heart on this kid is something else. She's been amazing through this whole thing, drawing a bunch of pictures of Rocco for the scrapbook she decided we should make for him, and being impossibly brave as she said goodbye to him. This is her first real experience with death, and she's handled it remarkably well. 

JONAH... It's so funny how differently kids rise to the occasion during times like this. Jared and I were such a mess Sunday night that we were struggling to get through the bedtime routine. Jonah was basically like, "uhhhh... so I guess I'm getting myself ready for bed?" Without even asking, he went potty, brushed his teeth, picked out his PJs, and was trying to put his nighttime diaper on when we finally came to. He may not really understand what's going on, but he apparently knew we needed a break that night. And on a far less depressing note, he has taken to removing his pants and underwear whenever he feels like it and running through the house naked. So there's that.

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OVERHEARD...

Jared: Only people wearing pants get piggybacks.

Emma: Books give you knowledge-y.
Allie: Knowledge-y?
Emma: Yeah. Knowledge-y. It's short for TECHnology.
Allie: ...

Allie: Great work this week, guys!
Emma: Thank you!... I'm saying thank you to myself.

Emma (after watching Animaniacs for the first time): I like when they say, "Helloooooooo, nurse!"

Weekend Update | Vol. 17

LIFE... Another happily low-key weekend around these parts. We managed to survive a trip to Costco with both kids on Saturday morning, which was nothing short of monumental. And when we went out for sushi that night the most wonderful thing happened - the kids sat together on one side of the table, and Jared and I sat on the other. Next to each other. No kids crawling on us while we ate. It was amazing. 

ALLIE... Every time we go to the library, I occurs to me I should ask on here if anyone else uses Goodreads for kids books - so this is me asking. :) If you do, send me a message so we can connect!

JARED... Made him watch a British rom com (Man Up) and about halfway through he revealed to me he was only understanding half of what the actors were saying. He still laughed out loud, so I'll call it a win. 

EMMA... Finally decided what kind of party she wants for her birthday - a princess tea party. We're going to have it at the house, which I'm sure I will immediately regret, but anything to see our girl smile! 

JONAH... Well, his weekend was going well - until he lost his balance and slid face first down the back door stairs. Poor guy's nose was so banged up we worried it was broken, but once the swelling went down it was thankfully all just superficial. In true Jonah fashion, he was running around and smiling 20 minutes later.

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OVERHEARD...

Emma: What the hiccups, man?

Jonah: I got a boo boo.
Emma: Well don't pick at it.
Jared: Hello, pot.

Jared: If I can't yell at them, at least let me express my anger through sarcasm.

Weekend Update | Vol. 16

LIFE... Gorgeous weather and a weekend filled with music? Yes, please! The new Sturgill album arrived on Friday and we've been listening to it obsessively ever since. And Saturday we went to a bluegrass festival at a local brewery where the kids had a blast dancing and stealing all our fries.

ALLIE... Traveled for work this week and immediately remembered how much I don't like traveling for work now that I have kids. But being able to expense Swedish Fish from Hudson News is always a nice little consolation.

JARED... Took advantage of the nice weather to finally work on the yard. His allergies hate him for it, but the yard is looking much better.

EMMA... Few things make me happier than seeing how much our kids love music. As soon as we got to the festival Emma ran right up front to dance, and that's pretty much what she did the entire time we were there. She got as close to the stage as possible, and kept saying "this music is WONDERFUL!" 

JONAH... Not quite understanding our new marble reward system designed solely to encourage him to stay in his big boy bed, nor the glowing alarm clock that is supposed to get him to sleep until a leisurely 6:30am. But he gets super excited to see it turn green after already being awake for an hour. Someday we'll sleep. Someday.

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OVERHEARD...

Allie: No sucking anybody's toes!
Jared: I'll take "Things I Never Thought I Would Say as a Parent" for $500 please, Alex.
 
Allie: I need a good nose blow, a teeth brushing, and 6 hours of sleep.

Emma: Daddy, you can't ever go to Egypt. They have a ton of cats there.

Weekend Update | Vol. 15

LIFE... Hey, remember that weekend in mid-April when it SNOWED?? The kids were literally singing Jingle Bells all weekend. Yeah, no thanks.

ALLIE... Managed to work out more days than not last week, and despite having to pause my videos 18 times to get Jonah a book/milk/orange/yogurt, I think I'm starting to feel stronger. Or at least slightly less squishy.

JARED... His big yard work weekend had to be postponed by the previously mentioned snow, but the Phillies finally managed to win a game so maybe this season won't be a complete disaster. Maybe.

EMMA... Started swim lessons again and did awesome. Sunday brought another birthday party - a performance at the Imagination Stage in Bethesda. I couldn't see her face during the show (which was fantastic, btw) but I could hear her laugh, which was almost better. No sound on the planet more wonderful than my kids' laughter.

JONAH... Got to go to the trampoline park with Jared while Emma and I were at the birthday party and they both loooved it. His favorite thing was Jared tossing him in the big pit. Jared said he got a glimpse of when things will be easier with Jo, and I was like "tell me everything." :)

FAVORITE IMAGE...

OVERHEARD...

Allie: You're a maniac!
Jonah: I'm not a baby mac!
 
Jonah (singing): Raspberries on my toast, raspberries on my toast, hi ho d'dario, raspberries on my toast.

Performer at birthday party: What does everyone want to be when they grow up?
Little girl: A princess!
Little girl: A princess!
Little girl: A veterinarian!
Little girl: A princess!
Little boy: A prince!
Emma: I want to be a QUEEN!

Weekend Update | Vol. 14

LIFE... It was a two birthday party weekend, which didn't leave much time (or energy) for much else. But after all the Spring Break craziness, it was nice to throw a little boredom into the mix during the downtime.

ALLIE... Well, I did it. I finally weaned Jonah, which means after 5 and a half years straight of being pregnant and/or nursing, I'm officially hanging it up. Pretty crazy. I had absolutely no intention of nursing Jonah for 30 months... like most working moms, I was just hoping to make it to a year. But the kid just never lost interest. And I knew he'd be my last so I didn't push it. But it was time. And it went over a lot better than I thought it would. Bittersweet, of course, but now I have extra time in the morning to workout so, you know, I should probably do that.

JARED... Got to have good one-on-one time with each kid this weekend, and especially loved doing science experiments with Emma in the kitchen. He also got the birthday party with the Wegman's cake, which I was quite jealous about.

EMMA... It's so funny to watch this girl at a birthday party. The first 30 minutes she's full speed crazy, then she crashes, and comes to in time for pizza and cake. It's a tough life. 

JONAH... Still waking up too early, still not napping in his bed, BUT he's still our hilarious little guy and handled the whole weaning thing so much better than I anticipated, so we're letting it slide. For now. 

FAVORITE IMAGE...

OVERHEARD...

Jonah: I like you, Mommy.
 
Jared: I want McCarthy to sing Dust in the Wind at my funeral.

Jonah (on Sunday night): It's the weekend!
Allie: Sorry, little man... tomorrow's Monday already.
Jonah: Why?
Allie: Because it's a cruel, cruel world.
Emma: It sure is, buddy.

Jared indulged me while I took new headshots for him. Love this handsome guy! <3

Jared indulged me while I took new headshots for him. Love this handsome guy! <3

Weekend Update | Vol. 13

LIFE... Spring Break has been, well, a bit of a roller coaster. Super fun adventures out of the house, lots of bickering and attitude inside the house. Thinking about getting myself one of those t-shirts that says "I survived Spring Break 2016." Or at least a commemorative bottle of wine. 

ALLIE... I spent the first 34 years of my life having never tried Nutella. That all changed on Friday. Let's just say, me and that little jar of deliciousness have been making up for lost time ever since.

JARED... Finally got glasses again after disavowing them for contacts in high school. I've been trying to convince him to do this pretty much the entire time we've been together, so this is pretty monumental. Thanks, Warby Parker!

EMMA... The heart on this one, I tell ya. She has her moments, but at her core she's so insanely thoughtful and caring. It never ceases to amaze and inspire me.

JONAH... The big boy bed went great for about 5 days, aaaaand then he decided that he didn't want to nap in it anymore, which then led to him repeatedly getting out of bed in the middle of the night. Praying the sleep gods take pity on us soon.

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OVERHEARD...

Emma: Remember when I sucked my toe? I don't really like doing that. It's like a dog hair popsicle.
 
Jared: That's an awesome poker table. Don't worry, I know it's not in the CARDS right now.
Allie: ...

Jared: I didn't like him before when I thought it was Bon Eye-ver, so when I found out it was Bohn Eee-vare I was just like UGGGHHHHH.

Weekend Update | Vol. 12

LIFE... Kicked off Spring Break by crossing 2 things off our Winter Adventure list - visits to the Maryland Science Center and the Original Playhouse. All in all, a great little weekend.

ALLIE... My apologies if your bracket was busted by my beloved Spartans. Not sure what happened there, but daaaang.

JARED... Considering how much he's been busting his butt at work lately, he's pretty darn elated to have a three day weekend this weekend. I'll be sad to have to work while he's playing with the kids on Monday, but I'm so glad he'll get some much needed solo time with them.

EMMA... Gave Jared the grossest wet willy of all time last night - bean soup finger right in his ear. It was amazing. For everyone except Jared.

JONAH... Take two with his big boy bed commenced Saturday. Considering this project is the biggest jinx ever, I'll just say it's going well and leave it at that. ;)

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OVERHEARD...

Emma (trying her first hard boiled egg): This smells really bad, but tastes really good.
 
Allie: Jonah, what's your cat's name?
Jonah: Squirrel.

Allie: I can finish this upstairs if you want to go up. You look tired. Or... did you want to finish this Dinner at Tiffani's?
Jared: I kind of want to see where this goes. I'm invested.

Weekend Update | Vol. 11

LIFE... The kids were up at 7:30, Jonah took his nap, and they were down before 8pm. Most successful Daylight Savings yet!

ALLIE... Victory for MSU! I'm not a huge sports person, but I so love rooting for my Spartans - especially during March Madness.

JARED... Has fully embraced Spartan basketball and I LOVE it. 

EMMA... Remember when I said she was craving more mama time? Yyyyeah, turns out she was being so needy because she was in a huge amount of pain. My poor girl was suffering from something called Toxic Synovitis, which sounds a lot worse than it is. It's this totally random thing than can happen to kids a few weeks after they get a viral infection and causes a ton of hip pain and inflammation. Thankfully it clears up pretty quickly with ibuprofen, but things were rough for a couple days there. She ended up getting that one-on-one mama time after all, and is now 100% recovered. Whew.

JONAH... Has become a singing machine lately. He doesn't always get the words right, but what he lacks in accuracy and tone he more than makes up for with enthusiasm (and volume).

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OVERHEARD...

Jared: I'm trying to get on board with the mayonnaise.

Emma: No. 
Allie: Excuse me??
Emma: Gnome. I said gnome.

Jonah (cheering for MSU): Go Skate!!


Weekend Update | Vol. 10

LIFE... It was an up and down weekend. Up in the sense that our kids are awesome and life is generally pretty darn good. Down in the sense that our kids are little bundles of insanity and we've begun to question our entire approach to parenting.

ALLIE... I cleaned out my closet, which felt amazing. I hadn't done a good cleanout since before we had kids and ended up getting rid of at least half of my clothes. I couldn't go full KonMari on it because if I only kept clothes that truly brought me joy I'd have like 4 things in my closet, but it's a start. I also learned that wedding knuckle tattoos are a real thing people actually get. So there ya go.

JARED... Made homemade Reese's bars, had friends over for beer and poker, and got to watch the Phillies. Jared had a good weekend.

EMMA... Really craving some special one-on-one time with her mama. Any suggestions for great mommy daughter dates welcome, as well as how to make sure the other child doesn't feel left out.

JONAH... Has started calling his humidifier his "fire" and it's ridiculously cute (in the way only parents of toddlers can appreciate.)

FAVORITE IMAGE...

OVERHEARD...

Jared: What is this game she wants you to play?
Allie: They're pets and I'm supposed to buy them at the shelter. Emma is a cat and Jonah is a dog, but they get along. Then I have to take them to the vet before we go home. And I'm also the vet. 
Jared: (completely unhelpful laughter)

Emma: I wish our house was taller. And more like a cake. And the whole family could sleep in the attic.

Jared: This looks like those electronica guys who never show their faces.
Allie: What does?
Jared: This blob of peanut butter.
Allie: ...

Weekend Update | Vol. 9

LIFE... Yyyyyyeah, this series is apparently the biggest jinx ever. After a great first week, a potty training regression with Jonah meant we stayed close to home this weekend trying to help him get back on track. But the weather was great, so we've got that going for us, which is nice.

ALLIE... Found a great new therapist this week, which is a big relief. I had been putting it off since my insurance changed last year, but 5 minutes into the appointment I remembered why I love therapy. An unbiased 3rd party who I can bounce my thoughts and problems off of with the goal of helping me be a better person? Yes please. (Also, people should talk about therapy more often. At least half of my friends see a therapist and it's kind of wonderful.)

JARED... Stoked that he made it home in time for dinner more often than not this week. Progress!

EMMA... The American Girl obsession continues to grow. The latest catalog came this week and she pored over it so much that I took pity on her and let her play with my 30 year old Molly doll. Cross what you've got that Olly Molly will survive until June when Emma gets the new Girl of the Year doll for her birthday (thanks Nana!)

JONAH... Kinda over this whole potty business, but he's sticking with it bless his heart. He's getting lots of extra snuggles and lovin' to ease the stress. 

FAVORITE IMAGE...

OVERHEARD...

Emma: Remember when it said "Boo Boo Butt"? I can't stop laughing. If you read that book again I'm going to have the hiccups!

Emma (talking about reincarnation): What if you come back as a bee and you sting me?
Allie: I could never sting you. I'd make you lots of honey so your life would always be sweet.
Emma: I don't like honey. It's too spicy.

Weekend Update | Vol. 8

LIFE... Every time we spend a day in Baltimore I start to feel a little more like Maryland is home, and Saturday was no exception. Perfect weather, a day at the zoo with friends, and lunch at Kislings was the perfect way to start shaking off these winter blues. 

ALLIE... Feeling the urge to purge and hoping I can find some time to actually do it. KonMari, I'm coming for ya! 

JARED... Took Emma on their first Daddy/Daughter date. They went to a fancy restaurant where Emma became obsessed with a trophy in the bathroom that was shaped like a pinecone. She went to the bathroom 4 times during their hour long dinner. The last time she admitted she just wanted to see the trophy. Afterward she said it was the best daddy/daughter date EVER.

EMMA... Already planning her 5th birthday party and stressing about starting Kindergarten at a new school in the Fall. Gotta get this girl to live in the now. Or at least, you know, in the current month.

JONAH... Potty training champ! Seriously so impressed with how great this kid is doing. I was nervous about how he'd do at school, but he did even better at school than he'd been doing at home. AND considering he'd never gone on a public potty, he didn't have a single accident on Saturday despite us being gone all day. (I'm sure now that I've typed this he'll have a major regression, so knock on all the wood.) 

FAVORITE IMAGE...

OVERHEARD...

Emma: How did Jonah get out of Mama's tummy?
Jared: ...

Emma: Stop taking them pictures of me and COLOR!

Allie: I just can't parent anymore today.

Weekend Update | Vol. 7

LIFE... Potty training + back to back concerts (Langhorne Slim and The Devil Makes Three). I'm not sure I've been this exhausted since we tried (and failed) to switch Jonah to a big boy bed. All totally worth it, but now I need a weekend from my weekend! Thank goodness Jared's parents were here to help us out.

ALLIE... Nothing better for the soul than some live music, and I've been desperately in need of a recharge - especially of the Langhorne variety. AND I did my very last load of cloth diapers. Dang that felt good.

JARED... Worked until 10pm on his birthday, and has decided he's too old to deal with wasted college kids at shows. 37 can only go up from here!

EMMA... We sure lucked out with this one in the big sister department. Jonah will refuse an hour of our potty prompts, and Emma just takes him by the hand and says "let's go together, kushy baby!" (That's what she calls him.) She sits on the big potty, he sits on the little potty, she helps him with his pants and makes sure he washes his hands. She's going to make an awesome mama someday (a very very very very very very very long time from now.)

JONAH... Potty training is underway! He's doing pretty awesome so far, all things considered. It's crazy to see him becoming this little boy right in front of our eyes. Thank goodness he still loves his snuggles or I'd be a puddle of tears right now.

FAVORITE IMAGE...

OVERHEARD...

Allie to Jonah: Okay, daddy will sit with you.
Emma: Yeah, daddy knows A LOT about pooping.

Emma: I love you.
Allie: Aw, thanks buddy.
Emma: I was talking to the squirrel.

Weekend Update | Vol. 6

LIFE... Jared was at the cabin with his friends for a few days, so it was just me and the kids this weekend. My sister and her boys came to visit on Saturday, and seeing my kids with their baby cousin was almost enough to make me want #3. Aaaaaalmost.

ALLIE... Let Emma talk me into making Valentines for her and Jonah's classes this year. Because why spend $10 on store bought Valentines when you can spend $30 on the supplies to make them? That's my motto, anyway. ;)

JARED... Had a great weekend with his friends. Just the guys, no kids, no wives, celebrating the last days of being 36. Not too shabby.

EMMA... Yyyyyeah, definitely jinxed her by saying last week she was coming out of a rough phase. A crap week at school ended on a high note and her hard emotional work was rewarded with us starting her first chapter book together. Gotta love a kid who sees books as rewards. 

JONAH... I'll admit I was a bit wary when he asked to hold his baby cousin, but for a kid who's always been a bit of a bull in a china shop, I was in awe of how gentle and nurturing he was with Ethan. I have a feeling those two are going to be good friends growing up.

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OVERHEARD...

Emma (singing): Put a bean bag on your head / back to the 1950s / when they had a medicine man / who helped them feel better

Kathryn: You need 10 hands... 5 for Jonah, 2 for Emma, and 3 for everything else.

Allie: Do you need a safe space to calm down for a bit? It's not okay to kick the furniture.
Emma: (toot)

Weekend Update | Vol. 5

LIFE... This weekend was all about celebrating family, from the oldest to the youngest. We drove up to PA on Saturday for Jared's grandmother's 90th birthday. We got to see so much of our extended family that we don't get to see nearly enough, and the kids had a blast. And on Sunday I finally got to take my nephew's newborn pictures. Spending time with a teeny tiny baby that I don't have to feed and change and stay up with all night is kind of the best.

ALLIE... I'm head over heels obsessed with quilting and sewing again. I have way too many ideas in my head and not nearly enough time to make them all. Pinterest problems strike again.

JARED... Wants to be a Barnwood Builder. Or have a cabin built by the Barnwood Builders. Or just watch a lot of Barnwood Builders.

EMMA... Knock on ALL the wood, but we *might* be moving out of her latest rough phase. All of a sudden this week she started throwing way less 'tude our way and... what's that word... listening! It's kind of amazing and I really really hope it's not a fluke. 

JONAH... Figured out how to put his pants on by himself. He's very VERY proud of this accomplishment.

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OVERHEARD...

Jared: Huh... haven't seen an urgent care in a Sheetz before.

Emma: Dada, there's like googleplex houses.

Allie: If anyone ever wanted to capture and torture me, this song would be a real quick way to get info out of me. (Mairzy doats, guys. Mairzy. Effing. Doats.)

Emma to me and Jared about Jonah: I'm glad you guys made him.

Grandma Shellaway: Can you believe Mariah Carey is engaged? And Miley and Liam are back together. Both men are Australians. They must like 'em crazy down there.

Weekend Update | Vol. 4

LIFE... Snow, snow, and more snow. Like, SO MUCH SNOW. We managed to dig out by Sunday afternoon but there are snow banks taller than Jared in our front yard. We're taking bets on when the last of this snow will melt. I'm guessing March.

ALLIE... Nothing like two days of shoveling to remind me that I haven't worked out in 5 years. I should probably do something about that. Just not today. Mama's sore today. So so sore.

JARED... Total beast when it comes to shoveling. He was working so hard that when he stopped to take breaks there was steam coming off of him. Literally my McSteamy.

EMMA... Was over the snow about 5 minutes after we first went outside, but once it finally stopped falling and she had huge mountains to climb she was happy as a clam. 

JONAH... Big fan of apres snow drinks, not a big fan of trying to trudge through snow as tall as he is. Next year, buddy. Next year.

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OVERHEARD...

Jonah: No sticky O's!!
Allie: You don't have to have sticky O's. What DO you want?
Jonah: Sticky O's!!

Emma: What a blizzard!

Allie: Maybe someday we'll watch a David O' Russell movie that lives up to the hype. Today was not that day.

Emma: Uggghhhh. I wish this was NOT a blizzard.

Jared: Suck it, Tom Brady. Go home and cry yourself to sleep tonight with your supermodel wife and your pillow made of money. (It should be noted that he SANG this.)

Emma: Knock, knock.
Jared: Who's there?
Emma: Cowboy.
Jared: Cowboy who?
Emma: Cowboy says he has a pickle on his face!

Weekend Update | Vol. 3

LIFE... Why can't every weekend be a 3 day weekend? Extra time with the kids AND I don't have to work? Yes, please!

ALLIE... My sister sent me 5 pints of Salt & Straw and I struck gold at Madewell when I found a dress on sale that fits me perfectly. It was a good week, my friends.

JARED... Had to work on Saturday and didn't get MLK day off. Was not nearly as grumpy about these things as I thought he'd be. 

EMMA... Is apparently perfectly capable of getting dressed in record speed, so long as we have plans to go see her cousins that day. She's also taken to sneaking into our room in the middle of the night, putting her face right up to mine or Jared's and saying - in a very creepy whisper - "I have to go potty!" She passes her bathroom on the way to our bedroom. 

JONAH... Croup has been followed up with a brutal head and chest cold. Sigh. Poor kid can't catch a break. Like, his whole life. But there's no keeping him down. He's still a smiling, dancing, mischief-making machine.

FAVORITE IMAGE...


OVERHEARD...

Allie: Look at the moon, guys! It's just a tiny little sliver tonight.
Emma: Yeah! It looks like an invisible taco.

Emma: You know what I say when Jonah burps? 'Now THAT is a burp, baby!'

"They're like these massive, terrifying beasts. A thousand pounds of muscle. And you're just like, 'Oooh, I'm going to get on its back and go for a little ride.' When it could easily trample you to death at any second." - Jared explaining his inordinate fear of horses

Weekend Update | Vol. 2

LIFE... So croup kind of sucks. The humidifier has been working overtime this week but our poor Jo is finally on the mend. We had to postpone the kids' visit to meet their new cousin, so we made it up to them by taking them to the Maryland Science Center. Big Bird on a planetarium screen is kind of strangely wonderful.

ALLIE... Having a grand time day dreaming not about how we're going to spend our Powerball winnings, but about how we're going to maintain normalcy and humility once we're obscenely wealthy. Don't get me wrong, there will be some nice camera gear purchases. And I'm absolutely getting weekly shipments of Salt & Straw. I'm just saying, I won't let the money go to my head.

JARED... Finally got to see The Revenant. Will now be rooting for The Revenant at every awards show I force him to watch.

EMMA... Has insisted on playing "Arctic Explorers" and nothing else after our visit to the Maryland Science Center. I have to keep watch over the stuffed penguins and when they ultimately get injured by passing Orca whales or leopard seals she comes to stitch them up. I don't know why she keeps letting me watch the penguins.

JONAH... I slept on the floor in his room the night croup hit and woke up to him holding my hand through the crib rails. It's heartbreaking to watch him be so sick, but dang if he isn't the sweetest little sickling that ever was.

FAVORITE IMAGE...

OVERHEARD...

"I hate so many people. But I'm pulling for Leo." - Jared

"You're like a Ninja Turtle!" - Emma to me. (This was not meant as a compliment.)

Allie: I gotta dry your tushy.
Jonah: Why?
Allie: So you don't get a rash.
Jonah: Why?
Allie: Because rashes hurt.
Jonah: Why?
Allie: No more questions!
Jonah: Why?

"She normally looks very attractive, but something about her eyes looks like she's been smoking a lot of pot. She looks TURNT, perhaps." - Jared feeling proud of himself for using new to him slang while critiquing Golden Globes style