Tomorrow is Emma's birthday, which means this is the last day of my baby girl being 2 years old. (Excuse me while I go sob in a corner.) I can't believe how much she's matured in the past year... she went from toddler to little girl, seemingly overnight. Here's a look back at some of my favorite photos of our sweet, hilarious, thoughtful, curious, beloved Emma as a two year old...
Every Day in June: Part 1
I owe Oprah an apology. I tend to be a pretty cynical person, and I've spent years thinking I was beyond all her self-discovery, aha moment mumbo jumbo. I was a confident, together modern woman. I knew who I was and what I wanted from life. Then it happened. Out of nowhere, I found myself in a moment where everything I knew about my life and myself all sort of fell together and made sense in a way it never had before. I had a purpose, a vision, and damn was I excited about it. See, like most people who pick up photography, or any art form for that matter, I've spent a ton of time over the past two years soaking up every tutorial, workshop, and blog post I could get my hands on - learning how to take better photos. I reached a point where I had the "how" pretty well figured out. I was chugging along, taking pretty, properly exposed, well composed images, but it felt like something was missing. So I started asking questions... I examined the work of photographers who I look up to, I explored my motivations for taking photos, and dug deeper and deeper until I was all the way back at the beginning: my family. They are my raison d'etre, and telling our story with my camera is one of my greatest joys and honors in life. I wanted my images to reflect that, and they weren't. At least not in the way I wanted them to.
A huge breakthrough came from reading Erika Ray's breakout session called "Let's Get Real: An Honest Approach to Photography." She's a master at real, honest, authentic photography and I connected with her work and her words in a way that I never had before with any other photographer. She helped me craft my vision for my photography, and to own that vision. I started asking myself every time I pick up my camera, "what do I want to remember about this?" And the answer is often something that likely has very little meaning to anyone else, but has immense personal meaning to me. The challenge then becomes translating that memory into something more than a simple snapshot... taking your life and making art from it. And you know the amazing thing about doing that? You start seeing your life as art. Every day moments become as beautiful as any Picasso. Even when I'm not shooting, I observe my family, our home, our life differently now... through the eyes of an artist. Which sounds like an incredibly stupid and arrogant thing to say, but that's the only way I've found to describe it.
So I had the "how" and the "why"... now it was time to figure out the "what." What did I want my photos to look like, to feel like - both to myself and to other people? I know the answer, but since this post is already insanely long, I'll save that for Part 2. In the meantime, I'll share with you a bit of what's come of all this soul searching. Once I had my big aha moment, I wanted to shoot all.the.time. I've never been an every day shooter because I work full time and before and after work is an elaborate, chaotic dance that rarely leaves time to sit and eat breakfast, much less snap some photos. But I stared down all those excuses and said screw it. You and me, June. It's on. So every day this month I've been shooting my "everyday." Each day, a new set of images that tell the story of our day... some days they have a common theme, or they're of a specific time of day or event, but it's always 5, and they're always real, and honest, and basically the kind of photography I wish I'd always been doing but I'm SO happy to be doing now. This is my absolute favorite challenge I've ever done. Here are a handful of my favorite days so far...
6.1.14: morning tv time / meal planning / first nap at home in months / big park / nature's highlights
6.2.14: (Weekday Breakfast) iPad in bed / brekkie / fuel / serenade / drinking the "juice"
6.4.14: If You're Happy and You Know It / always pumping / end of year school celebration / sassy like his mama / happy to be heading home!
6.5.14: (Day in the Life of Jonah) wakey wakey / busted / showing off for his teachers / yum! / precious boy
6.8.14: (Weekend Breakfast) bacon, always / blueberry pancakes / blowing raspberries / blueberry face / helping Jonah with his puffs
6.10.14: (Day in the Life of Rocco) rise and shine / out for a walk / pondering / waiting / back to bed
6.11.14: (Between work/school and dinner) feeding puppers / Doc McStuffins / still snoozing from the car ride / daddy's home! / so much love
\10 on 10\ June
A little something different for this month's 10 on 10... a couple of the other working moms in this circle and I made a pact to document a work day in June. I feared it would be super boring, but it ended up feeling very personal because, well, it's my life!
/1/ Rise and shine
/2/ Hang time with my sweet boy
/3/ Wavy gravy
/4/ And we're off!
/5/ Empty carseats... the saddest part of my day
/6/ Workin' and pumpin'
/7/ Taking my handsome coworker for a walk
/8/ The best rear view
/9/ Nom nom
/10/ Time to edit... (and yes, I do have freakishly long toes. They're very handy when my arms are full of babies. Evolution for the win!) ;)
I’m joined in this project by a group of amazing photographers… head on over to Jessica's blog to see a day in her life, then continue around the circle until you end up back here!
\Jonah Month by Month\ 8 Months
\Letters to my Children\ May
I’m continuing my “Letters” project this year with a group of my very dearest photography friends. Each month I’ll write a letter to one of my babies. This month it’s Jonah’s turn…
We went to the cabin for Memorial Day weekend and, considering the last time you were there you were in bronchiolitis/teething misery, it's safe to say you had a much better cabin trip this time. It was your first tenting experience, and you weren't thrilled with that part. It was a wee bit cold at night and not even double PJs and your fancy sleeping bag sleep sack seemed to keep you warm enough. Bad mama.
Okay, so other than freezing your cute little tushie off, you had a great time. You had lots of hang time with Daddy, got to crawl around next to the pond, and had lots of fun goofing around with your Uncle Dave.
Before I know it you'll be chasing after the older kids, casting your own fishing pole, and swimming in the dam no matter how ridiculously cold the stream is... so I'm trying to savor this time when you still want to be close to me, hanging in the Ergo, or smiling up at me from your blue blanket.
When Monday morning rolled around, you were ready to hit the road. Exhausted from a great weekend, you fell asleep before we even got in the car.
Sweet dreams of many years of happy cabin weekends to come, my beautiful boy.
I encourage you to head over to Valley Forge Family Photographer Lucy Baber Photography to read her letter to her adorable boys.
\10 on 10\ May
Finally a weekend without anything going on, so we decided to take a day trip to Harper's Ferry for some hiking...
\1\ family breakfast at Family Meal
\2\ Sweetness
\3\ Driving to Harper's Ferry
\4\ Singing along to The Avett Brothers covering "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" by request... she can't get enough and we're happy to oblige
\5\ Very buggy, \6\ but very pretty
\7\ Taking in the sights of the Shenandoah River
\8\ Post-hike treat
\9\ and \10\ They sleep...
I’m joined in this project by a group of amazing photographers… head on over to Kyla's blog to see a day in her life, then continue around the circle until you end up back here!
/Jonah Month by Month/ 7 Months
Anatomy of a Tantrum
She just wanted to finish her game, but mean mama said time was up...
:)
\Letters to my Children\ April
I’m continuing my “Letters” project this year with a new group of my very dearest photography friends. Each month I’ll write a letter to one of my babies. This month it’s Emma’s turn…
We had Spring Break this month, which meant we had a whole week to hang out and do fun stuff. We started by making homemade moon sand. It was too cold to play with it outside, and I'd already gotten you excited about it, so I braced myself for a mess and let you have at it. My instructions to "make sure it stays inside the bin" apparently fell on deaf ears, but you had a blast and that's all that matters. :)
Next up we painted your toenails! You love having me paint your toes and you even got to pick out a special color at Target ("the red store"). You, of course, picked your favorite color - purple.
The next morning you let me do your hair in special braids and you looked like SUCH a big girl. No more braids for a while because mama can't handle how grown up they make you look.
Then it was off to Green Meadows, the local petting farm and one of your all time favorite places to visit. You know all the animals and especially love feeding the goats. That particular afternoon they even had an easter egg hunt! You were very excited to pick out your eggs, but weren't such a fan of the costumed Easter Bunny they had strolling around. People in big furry costumes aren't your thing.
I think your favorite part of the week was going to our dear friend Leslie's farm in Central Virginia with Titi and your cousin Zachary. You kids had a BLAST feeding the animals, running around the huge property, playing with all of Leslie's toys, and generally being complete goof balls.
After our sleepover at Leslie's we headed back to Titi's to play and get everything ready for Easter. We stayed the night there and, as usual, you woke up way too early. This meant iPad time until everyone else woke up. Hmm, no wonder you like waking up early!
You and Zachary were SO excited to get a very special Facetime call from Nana and Grandpa Ed! They were on a boat in Paris and we could see the Eiffel Tower in the background. You're obsessed with Madeline lately so that part was especially cool.
I apparently got tired of taking pictures at this point, so you'll have to take my word for it that you had an awesome Easter, filled with family, fun, and lots of yummy food. More importantly, we had SUCH a fun Spring Break! I loved having so much time to hang out with you and can't wait for our next day off together.
I encourage you to head over to my friend Ann’s blog to read her letter to her sweet boys.
\10 on 10\ April (Portraits of Fatherhood)
For this month's 10 on 10 I wanted to do a day in the life series on my husband, Jared... For all the curveballs life has thrown us the past couple of years, and how tough the transition to two kids has been, I look at these photos and know I married the right person. Aside from being a genuinely great guy, he's such a wonderful father and husband. I feel blessed to know the example he's setting for our children of what a real man is.
\1\ Start your engines
\2\ He always makes us breakfast on the weekends
\3\ Driving to gymnastics
\4\ Jared to me: "Don't draw attention over here! I just want to eat my yogurt without having to share it with Emma." as he spitefully savors the last spoonful :)
\5\ They're starting to spend more quality time together now that Jonah is going longer between feedings... I love the bond they're developing
\6\ These two have so many little games they play... this one is where he "makes it windy inside" by blowing on her and she just cracks up 
\7\ Pre-bath potty time, \8\ brusha brusha
\9\ Story time
\10\ Kicking back
I’m joined in this project by a group of amazing photographers… head on over to Christine’s blog to see a day in her life, then continue around the circle until you end up back here!
\Letters to My Children\ March
I’m continuing my “Letters” project this year with a new group of my very dearest photography friends. Each month I’ll write a letter to one of my babies. This month it’s Jonah’s turn…
I can't believe you're already 6 months old! It seems like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital, and now you're rolling over, scooting around to get to your toys, and starting solids. We gave you some avocado to try and after the initial excitement wore off, you were pretty skeptical.
Eventually you got on board and have been doing great ever since. And now that you're finally feeling better (begone chronic bronchiolitis!) you're drinking lots and lots of milk and sleeping better at night. You still wake up a little too early for our liking, but we'll work on that. You're so stinking cute, we're always happy to see your face - even at 5am.
We love you so much, buddy, and can't wait to see what the coming months have in store for you. <3
I encourage you to head over to my lovely friend Gwen’s blog to read her letter to her children.
/Jonah Month by Month/ 6 Months
Jonah's Birth Story
It was a Thursday night, and despite the fact that I wasn't due for another week, I just knew labor was imminent. Jared and I were in DC on a last chance date night to see Langhorne Slim and the Law play, and I was using the stage clock to time my ever increasing pre-labor contractions. As excited as I was to meet our little guy, I'm very thankful that a front row delivery wasn't in the cards. We were able to dance the night away and at one point while he was singing, Sean (aka. Langhorne) even put his hand on my belly. It was a funny moment that definitely helped to take my mind off my contractions. My pre-labor calmed down soon after we got home, and held off until Saturday night when I woke up with contractions that were 7 minutes apart. Things felt pretty real, but I wanted to be certain so I waited a couple of hours before calling my mom who was on deck to stay with Emma once we left for the hospital. She had been sick all week and by the time I called very early Sunday morning she was running a fever and unable to get out of bed. Crap. My mom rarely ever gets sick, and never gets that sick, so at that point I pretty much went into panic mode. Of the relatively few fears I had about this birth, not having anyone to take care of Emma was pretty high on the list.
The sun was rising, and so were my stress levels. So much so that my labor started to slow down. It was almost as if my body knew we needed more time to get things sorted out. I continued to have contractions every half an hour or so, but we went about our Sunday as normal... a trip to the local animal farm with Emma then back home for a much needed nap. I was nearly certain I'd be having this baby within the next 24 hours so I wanted to get as much rest as possible.
Got my 39 week photo done that afternoon... not a moment too late!
As I was waking up, I got the call from my sister that I'd been waiting for... she and my mom had worked out a plan and no matter when I needed to go to the hospital, Emma would be taken care of. Phew! And wouldn't you know it, not an hour later my labor picked back up. It was around 3:30pm, my contractions were 10 minutes apart, and I knew this time was it... our little boy was on his way!
My contractions continued to get closer and stronger over the next few hours. I'd been listening to my hypnobirthing tracks off and on since Saturday night, and things were feeling pretty manageable. We ate some dinner, got Emma to bed, and decided it was time to call my mom to have her come up. I touched base with the midwife on call at the hospital and she was ready for us whenever we felt ready to come in. But our readiness was so hard to gauge - Emma was asleep, my contractions were 6 minutes apart and getting closer by the hour, my mom and stepdad had arrived and were all settled in... by all accounts, we should be hospital bound, but I was really struggling with actually saying those words, "It's time to go." My labor with Emma had been soooo long. What if this labor was going to be just as long and we went to the hospital too early? Months of going to the chiropractor, doing inversions, stretches and yoga, but I still couldn't let myself believe that this labor was going to be different. Finally, after my mom said for the hundredth time, "you don't want to have this baby on the side of the road!," we left for the hospital.
Once we were at the hospital, I was relieved to find out that there wasn't a triage room. We got to go straight to the room where I'd have my baby and got settled in. When you go to a midwife practice, it's a bit of a crap shoot who you'll get as your midwife on D-Day, so I was relieved when the midwife on call, Tara, came in. I knew within two seconds of meeting her that she was going to be a great fit for us.
My initial fetal monitoring was almost done, I'd successfully avoided the IV line and was ready to be checked. I laid there doing a mental drumroll, hoping I was more than 5 centimeters. Psychologically, I needed to be more than 5.
I was 5 centimeters.
I couldn't help but think about how it took another 15 hours to birth Emma once I was 6-7 centimeters, so I mentally prepared myself for another several hours of contractions. It was 11pm. We got some tunes going, our birth photographer was snapping away, and I was happily swaying my hips on the birthing ball. In a funny way, it felt so us. Just hanging out, listening to music, laughing with each other. Okay, so every few minutes I'd have increasingly painful contractions. But other than that, it was just like normal.
Around midnight I decided to lay down for a bit and listen to a hypnobirthing track. (I like to keep moving when I'm in labor, but I learned the hard way with Emma that it's also important to rest!) About 15 minutes into the track I started getting the chills and shaking to the point that it was impossible to maintain my deep relaxation. I never went through a classic transition phase with Emma, so I didn't realize that this meant we were getting down to business. I scrapped the rest of the track and went back to standing/sitting/swaying. With every contraction I would stand behind Jared, hold on to his shoulders, and bury my forehead into his back while I breathed my baby down. I'd been doing that all day and it felt so good to connect with Jared during those moments of intensity.
Then came the nausea.
After a particularly intense contraction, I immediately felt like I was going to be sick. Tara handed me a little plastic tray, but I remember telling her that I wanted to go puke in the toilet like a lady. Ha! Thankfully, it was just some (slightly less unpleasant) dry heaving and then it subsided. Until the next contraction. More shaking, more chills, more nausea. This part wasn't much fun. We were still listening to music, and at one point during the craziness Tara was using the portable monitor to check my baby's heartbeat... "Angel From Montgomery" by John Prine was on (one of my all time favorite songs), and me, Jared, and Tara were all singing along while my baby's heartbeat thumped in the background. "Make me an angel that flies from Montgomery. Make me a poster of an old rodeo..." I knew the hardest part was soon to come, and this moment was a sweet little reminder that everything was happening exactly how it was supposed to.
Tara had the ideal personality for calming my nerves about having a long labor. She just never said anything about it... no time estimates, no pressure to be checked. She simply slowly started getting things in order when she sensed I was getting close to pushing. I could see this happening around me and while I was still too stubborn to get my hopes up, this unspoken vote of confidence was all I needed to surrender through the last of transition and start allowing myself to accept that this was about to happen - that a "mere" 11 hours after my labor picked back up the afternoon before, my baby was ready to be birthed.
I stuck with my contractions as long as I could... they were all consuming and the pressure was so intense I felt like my baby would just fall right out. If only it was that easy! I got up on the bed in a kneeling position and rested my arms over the raised top of the bed. With the next contraction, I started my pushes. I only lasted a few pushes in that position... you have to listen to your body when it comes to pushing and while no position feels good, some feel more right than others. So I sat on the bed and Jared and another nurse acted like human stirrups. (How's that visual for ya?!) We pushed against each other with each contraction, and I could already tell pushing was going to take longer than I'd hoped. I'm just not destined to be one of those 3 pushes and baby's out kinda gals.
Time was dragging. I felt like I wasn't making any progress. It hurt. It hurt BAD. Some women prefer the pushing, but not me. I could do (and did) days of labor just fine, but 20 minutes into pushing I was really regretting not getting any drugs. All those months I'd spent getting physically prepared for another natural birth, and I'd forgotten to firm up my mental resolve. I knew it was the safest and gentlest way for my baby to be born, I knew I'd done it once before, I knew it was what I truly wanted, but dang... in that moment, if it hadn't been too late, I would have given just about anything for a little pain relief. They always say that when you start wanting the drugs it means you're really close. Well I could have stood to be just a little closer.
My water still hadn't broken, so to move things along I asked Tara to go ahead and break my water. I immediately missed having that little buffer between my baby's head and my pelvis. Did I mention it hurt? Because it did. A lot. But I knew the only way out was through. I rested for a couple of contractions, and then decided that it was time. I was going to give it every last thing I had. Sounds came out of me that I've never heard before... guttural... primal.
He was crowning.
Two more pushes...
Jonah.
Hello, my sweet boy.
Tara handed him to me and he was just so tiny and perfect. I wanted to hold him forever. I can't adequately put into words the instant bond I felt with my son. From that moment on, he was my little guy and I was his mama and so it would always be.
We stared at him in all his newborn goodness, taking in every tiny wrinkle on his body, his firm little fists, his sparse blonde hair. Jared held his son for the first time, and I overflowed with love.
I barely noticed that, as with Emma, I was having too much bleeding and that the IV I'd been avoiding went in along with some Pitocin to try to get my uterus to contract a little faster. Such is the after part of of birth no one really talks about... you're so busy obsessing over your new baby, but you also just did this pretty crazy physical thing and your body needs tending to. So I got a little TLC while Jonah got his vitals taken.
It was nearly 3am by the time Jonah was born and we were bone tired. We were quite eager to move out of recovery and settle into our room to love on our little boy, and hopefully take a nice long family nap. Our wish was granted, and after a long feeding, Jonah fell asleep in my arms, I fell asleep in the bed, and Jared fell asleep on that terrible couch thing they try to pass off as a bed. I once again found myself blessed beyond belief... surrounded by more love than I ever thought possible... so fortunate to get to experience the miracle of motherhood.
\10 on 10\ March
This month's 10 on 10 depicts a typical Saturday for us these days...
\1\ up way too early
\2\ watching TV on the big bed
\3\ Nana and Grampa Ed came to see Emma do her thing at "mastics"
\4 & 5\ playing and rolling
\6 & 7\ lunch time antics
\8\ up close and personal with my sleepy guy (hand held self portrait)
\9\ wheeeeee!
\10\ dinner time tunes
I’m joined in this project by a group of amazing photographers… head on over to Kyla's blog to see a day in her life, then continue around the circle until you end up back here!
{Jonah Month by Month} 5 months
\Letters to My Children\ February
I’m continuing my “Letters” project this year with a new group of my very dearest photography friends. Each month I’ll write a letter to one of my babies. This month it’s Emma’s turn…
Well, you are officially two and a half. With. A. Bang. I was naive enough to think we'd somehow, miraculously skip over the terrible twos. But it turns out you're a normal kid with big feelings and you're having a tough time managing them. Daddy and I are trying our best to help you figure out how to express yourself, but sometimes you just need to scream and cry and let it all out. It breaks my heart, but I always tell you that it's okay to be sad and frustrated and angry. I feel that way sometimes, too. We work on taking deep breaths and always talk through things once you've calmed down. Sometimes neither of us handles these meltdowns very well, but we always learn and that's the best we can do. Anyway, enough with the tough stuff... let's get to the good stuff!
Your ability to communicate beyond your years continues to blow us away, and I love seeing the wheels turning as you work something out or make up something silly. You're becoming more and more curious about the world around you and have started asking questions about everything... "Is it Saturday? Yes or No?"... "Is this a boy or a girl?"... "Can I have 2 books or 3?"... "What are these kids doing?" And just today you read The Little Blue Truck to me and Daddy, and I was a big old sap and started crying halfway through. I know you were just reciting it from memory, but it was a glimpse into a day, not too far from now, when you are really reading to us. I felt so proud of you, and so excited for what's to come as you get a little older.
Lately, you've gotten really into playing with your Legos and I just love watching you build your "circus," as you call it. You'll build a tower as tall as you can reach, and then gleefully knock it down so that you can build it up again.
I think my favorite thing about you at this age is how sweet, cuddly, and generous you are. You always have a million moochies (kisses) for me and Daddy and Jonah, and you love to cook for us in your kitchen and share your loveys with your little brother. It makes you so happy to make us feel loved and cared for... it's one of your many qualities that I hope never goes away.
I love you so much, boo boo.
I encourage you to head over to my lovely friend Gwen’s blog to read her letter to her children.
{Jonah Month by Month} 4 Months
\10 on 10\ February
10 on 10, cabin style... we were up there to celebrate my husband's birthday, so I thought I'd do a little day in the life of a winter cabin weekend.
\1\ Just a wee bit chilly...
\2\ Pretend menu reading
\3\ These two are pretty cute
\4\ Frozen stream
\5\ Rollin' in the snow
\6\ While the kids are napping...
\7\ It was all I could do to not eat these cheeks
\8\ Dusk
\9\ Make a wish
\10\ "Oh Lord Jesus, it's a fire"
I’m joined in this project by a group of amazing photographers… head on over to Jessica’s blog to see a day in her life, then continue around the circle until you end up back here!
\Letters to My Children 2014\ January
I’m continuing my "Letters" project this year with a new group of my very dearest photography friends. Each month I’ll write a letter to one of my babies. This month it's Jonah's turn…
Oh my baby boy, what a rough month it's been for you! At only 3 months old, you had surgery to repair the hernia you were born with, and then a couple of weeks later you caught your first real sickness from your big sister. All that, on top of starting daycare, and yet you've handled it all with your usual ease and sweetness.
I'm so glad you're feeling better, and crossing my fingers that the worst is behind us. I feel like we lost a whole month and I'm ready for life to slow down a little so I can get back to savoring all your sweet goodness. It sounds so cliche, but you really are growing so fast! There's so much I want to remember... all your little chunky bits, those cheeks, your huge blue eyes, the way your head smells like pure heaven.
I know I can't pause time, but I can take a zillion photos of you, and that's almost the same thing. I've also made a promise to myself to take photos with you, so here are a couple more... I hope one day you can look back on these and see how very much I love you.
I encourage you to head over to my friend Ashleigh’s blog to read her beautiful letter to her daughter.
\10 on 10\ January
I'm so happy to be kicking off the year with a new photography project - 10 on 10. On the 10th of every month I'll be sharing 10 photos taken on a single day in the life of our family. This month, I decided to document the day of Jonah's surgery. It was a day I'd been dreading since we first found out he needed surgery, and I figured a little photo therapy would be a nice distraction.
\1\ Early - and very cold - drive to Children's Hospital
\2\ Our tiny little patient
\3\ This was the hardest part for me... right before he went back. He was starving and miserable and all I wanted to do was take him and run the other direction. Instead I had to hand him over to strangers and trust he was in good hands.
\4\ Coming out of the anesthesia... the surgery was a success and he did great!
\5\ Tummy full, time to sleep
\6\ Family nap time
\7\ No more hernia
\8\ Hanging with daddy
\9\ Getting back to his smiley self
\10\ I think I needed this as much as he did
I'm joined in this project by a group of amazing photographers... head on over to Catherine's blog to see a day in her life, then continue around the circle until you end up back here!